I went over to the Kress family’s house tonight after work just to hang out with them. They have five children, ages 3 through 16, and are a Catholic family.

I love to hang out with them and am blessed to be friends with them. I have a lot to learn about what a Catholic family is like, and how to be a good Catholic husband and father, since I was not raised in a Catholic or even Christian home.

Before I left for home tonight, Jeff (the Dad) asked me what they could pray for me about.

Me: “Two things: purity and my future wife.”

Jeff then gave me advice he had given me before, but which I need to hear regularly. From the last time he told this wisdom to me until now I have begun to understand and believe it.

It is this: the man pursues the woman, but he also remains detached from and confident in who God has made him to be. The man must say, “This is the man I am–a man of God. Right here is where I am establishing myself, preparing my home and self for the woman God has created for me. Here is the way I am going: to Heaven and I am going to lead my family there. Woman, do you want to join me in this amazing journey?”

It is the woman’s God-designed role to then choose whether this man is who she wants, whether this is the direction she wants to go in.

Some women want to lead and take the man’s role. This reversal is backwards and unhealthy. If you are a man who is striving to become the man God made you to be, you should not let yourself be so stricken by a woman that you allow this situation to occur. Rather, you must be strong in who you are and in what God is working in you, and with humble confidence take your stand and invite a woman you are pursuing to come along with you.

This notion sounds chauvinistic to our modern, emasculated ears, but I believe Jeff is right on about it, and I pray and resolve to become a man like this.

So, I admit my nothingness before God and my total dependence on him for strength. Here I am, in Austin, Texas, and this is the place I take my stand. I am blessed with a great career and tremendous grace to become a man like St. Joseph. I am preparing myself body, soul, and heart for my future wife and family, and I want to lead her and my children in a blessed life of Christ to Heaven. [To any potential future wife God's leads me to pursue:] Do you want to join me in this journey?