After reading about David and Mary (posted below), Katie and I have started talking about adoption.
It is too early for us to know whether we will be able to have children of our own flesh or not, but with so many children needing a family here in the U.S. and in the world, the question has come up for us: Should we consider adoption regardless of whether we can conceive on our own?
Would it be strange for us or for our children if we had a mix of adopted and natural children?
If you have thoughts about this, please post a comment–I would enjoy hearing your ideas.
Enrique and I have talked about this as well. There really are so many children in need of a loving home. We’ve talked about adopting older children, not so much babies, because these are usually the children that are “unwanted”. I think it’s great that you brought it up and that you guys are thinking about it. As far as the strangeness factor, I know what you mean. However, I think it’s one of those things ( as with everything)… God would provide the family with the grace necessary to not only work through any difficulties that might arise but to discover a profound love that the family didn’t think would be possible. Let me give you an example. Say there’s a family that has four healthy children and then a fifth is born with downs syndrome. At first, not accustomed to the new challenges of taking care of a child with “special needs”, life could be difficult for the entire family. But with time, the family can not even imagine what life would be like without this child. Does that make sense? I think it would be no different in the case of adopting children into a family that already has natural children. May the Good God bless you as you continue to discern and discuss this topic..we’re praying for you!
I think the answer is “yes” that we should consider and discern adoption, even if we are able to have our own children. We’ve discussed it before and I think we will definitely discern it…we frequently daydream about adopting a little boy at the “end” and naming him Junior
We know a family with 5 girls who did just that. They are also not people who you’d think would have the money to adopt, but I’m always amazed and inspired by that holy family and the sacrifices they’ve made to welcome new life. Now that’s Pro-Life!
hi. well, i think adoption, especially those children who are in need, is a true gift. there are so many children in our country who need a loving home and guidance from two loving parents. i also think it is a calling and not without a big set of unique issues, especially with older children.
kids are truly a gift of God, but all in his time. discern away, oh newlyweds! and may God bless and guide you.
Thank you, dear ladies, for sharing your ideas with us. I also feel that adoption is a calling from God, one that He makes clear in a couple’s life and one that He will help each couple to accept and accomplish.
Veronica’s analogy of a family who has a baby with down syndrome is a good one, I think. It is not something that a family would ask for, but, if accepted as a child of love from God, can be a channel of grace for that family that teaches them more deeply how to love.
Not only is it a beautiful vocation, its truly a beautiful gift to give a child … a gift of family, of belonging. I have a friend who has 18 children!! Only 4 of them are hers naturally. She and her husband have adopted from various races, ages (usually older) and even with various illnesses/handicaps like Downs and Cystic Fibrosis.
They moved to Houston because their youngest one needed more medical care with her CF. How amazing to have so much love for a child that would otherwise be unwanted!!
I’m sure the world scoffs at such a large, mixed family. But these kids will always have a home when they’re older. They’ll have each other. Someone to see them graduate, get married, have kids. Adoption is truly a gift of selfless love!! I think the question isn’t whether it would be strange (the world would say yes!!) but whether you can give that selfless love to an unwanted child. So it almost seems as if everyone should be adopting!! Hmmm, need to talk to my dh. No wonder Mother Theresa (my favorite saint) did what she did.
Well, need to go pack!
If you ever want to research some of the challenges and questions, Dr. Ray Gaurdeni would be a good source as a parent of 10 adopted kids. We also have one of his tape series and I think a tape in it addresses your question of mixing adopted and natural children. But essentially at first it would be strange to the natural children, but then it really doesn’t matter, especially if they are young. I know someone who has a mixed family like that and the kids don’t even label themselves as “adopted” or “natural”…they are brothers and sisters and that’s it.
Happy discernment!
ABSOLUTELY!!!! I have been bugging my husband for awhile about doing such. We have two biological children right now, and whether or not more come, I would love to adopt! My husband has a list of concerns, so I continue to ask the Lord to touch his heart.
One encouraging way to look at it; by adopting children, you may be giving them the only chance they may have had to be raised in a solid, Catholic family!!!!!