…a learning computer.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Terminator II

That’s one of my favorite Arnold quotes because it uses just the right amount of real computer science terminology to sound believable, but of course in reality neural networks can’t do anything even close to what our brains can do. That’s why it’s science fiction!

My second favorite ridiculous science fiction quote is from Pauly Shore in the very dumb movie Son-in-law (if you haven’t seen it, don’t), where he impresses his girlfriend’s little computer-hacker brother by getting his computer working again, explaining: “I greased the subroutines and tweaked the P-RAM”.

However, the above quotes have nothing to do with this post, which involves yours truly, by the grace of God, fixing the guest toilet! It appears not to leak anymore, though only time will tell. The tank wouldn’t stand up quite straight, and so we are now calling it the “leaning toilet of Pisa”, but it doesn’t leak, and that’s what matters!

How did I fix it? Well, I invited my dad over, and together we went to Home Depot and bought a completely new toilet bowl and tank, removed the old one, and installed a new one.

The second bane of my home improvement existence has been the pantry door, the annoying and faulty nature of which our house guests, Quinn and Danielle, can attest. The bottom hinge of the door where it attaches to the door frame had worn the holes such that the screws didn’t hold the door anymore.

My dad helped me fix it by using metal wall anchors that worked beautifully to dig into the wood in the door frame and hold the screws in.

Finally, I bought masonry bits for my power drill and used the wall anchor and a screw to mount our Bartolomeo Murillo print of Our Lady and the baby Jesus over the fireplace:

(As you can see, I’ve developed a baditude due to my successes.)

All in a days work! Thanks, St. Joseph.