When Devin and I married last October, I happily changed my name to Catherine Jean Marie Rose, dropping my maiden name. I was proud of my maiden name, Bateson, and all the history that it carried, but I didn’t see any way to carry both names, Rose and Bateson, without seeming like I was resisting my full integration into marriage. Somehow, hyphenating my name, Bateson-Rose, would have made me feel like I was trying to retain some measure of autonomy and individuality even as I entered into the total mutual self-gift that is the sacrament of marriage.
But, recently, I read the biography of St. Gianna Beretta Molla, wife, mother, and doctor. She was so amazing and beautiful! If only I could be a woman like that. Anyway, the author of her biography wrote a lovely reflection about her double surnames, stating,
“Here, one finds the explanation of the dual last name, which is no aristocratic affectation, but rather bears witness to the nobility of a married woman.” (Guerriero, 17)
The nobility of a married woman. I like that! :) And, that certainly has always been Catholic teaching. A woman marries a man sacramentally and joins him as a helpmate, equal in dignity and priceless in value; I know that some Catholic people haven’t always honored women, but the official Church doctrine is clear. Â
That might explain why in “Catholic” countries (countries that have historically been generally Catholic–Italy, France, Latin America) the practice of double surnames is common. Our friends, the Garcias, recently married, and Roxanna took Gerardo’s surname as a complement to her own. I really like that.
Roxanna Garcia Ibarrola. Gianna Beretta Molla. Alexis Thibodeau Dobson. Catherine Bateson Rose. Yep, that’s right. I have officially decided, with the support of Devin, to drop my middle names, Jean Marie, and go with Bateson instead. I’ll miss the lovely Jean Marie, but need to begin exercising the “nobility of a married woman”, right? :) YKC!
Monday, 23. July 2007
Welcome to the club!! My mother and my grandmother both changed their middle names to their maiden names. Yes, a European/Hispanic thing but also a way to honor of families of origin. And how many Alexis Thibodeau Dobson’s are out there?? hopefully just me!
Monday, 23. July 2007
Adam and I had a long emotional talk about this before we married as I didn’t want to drop the only I have left that identifies my mexican american heritage. But he reminded me that in the bible, when God had a special plan for an individual he re-named them. Abram became Abraham; Sarai became Sarah; even Mary was “named” by the angel Gabriel as Full of Grace. I embraced my name change out of respect for my husband, and I have seen the truth in how I have changed in God’s plan–to be Adam’s wife and the mother of the children God has given us. I am no longer who I was before I became one with him.
Monday, 23. July 2007
Hahaha! Oh Katie…funny! =)
Monday, 23. July 2007
For my part, I was happy with either one of the choices–the only one I didn’t like was the hyphenated one–but having to get a new social security card, driver’s license, etc. isn’t worth the effort I don’t think.
I will happily call you Mrs. Catherine Bateson Rose! (with no hyphen).
Monday, 23. July 2007
I don’t know about that Devman. That seems a little long. You’d have to come up with some sort of abbreviation for everyday usage. CatBatRo?
Tuesday, 24. July 2007
Ooh, so many comments! It’s beautiful to see the diversity of opinions held within the framework of orthodoxy. Thanks, everybody.
Wednesday, 25. July 2007
Katie,
I was wondering if I could make a little request. And please note, I am not implying a replacement.
You see, I have just finished the last load of summer & fall maternity clothing. The last of five loads!!!! This does not include my winter clothing.
(To those who do not know me, no, I am not a clothing nut. I have a sister living comfortably with three kids, each of which she seemed to acquire a new maternity clothing wardrobe with, all of which she passed on to me. I also have a mother who sews wonderfully and bestowed upon me many skirts, pants, and dresses, all of which are difficult to find in my size.)
Okay, back to my request. You are the only woman I know who is even close to my size and wanting children. (In fact, you’re the only woman I know hoping for future pregnancies; its so sad.) So I was wondering if you would be so kind as to get pregnant again soon, as I need someone to pass at least a few bags of these clothes on to. Perhaps you could even conceive twins so that you need maternity clothing sooner along in the pregnancy. You know, if you don’t mind.
Take care, Amy
p.s. Maria Catherine is in the lead for a girl, and the boy has so many names we like we simply have to narrow them down. Samuel and Stephen and current first names, and Anthony and Thomas are middle names. Still in the mix are Patrick, Peter, Nicholas, and (with a miracle to convince my husband) Gerard.
Sunday, 29. July 2007
Howdy Katie,
I just read this, and ordered St. Gianna’s Biography myself. Mostly because, being Catholic woman and having a career has been a personal struggle for me. I am so glad you posted this. I had a very hard time deciding what to do, and I even remember a friend of mine coming with me to the DMV and just waiting in the parking lot not knowing if I was going to change my name. Now I find it funny, I definitely identify myself more with uhns then garcia because I feel like I have become a new woman. However, in true Hispanic tradition my kids will be named Kuhns Garcia, as I was Garcia Gonzalez as a child. Maybe the gov. here doesn’t recognize both names, as long as when someone asks my son (future, God willing) what his name is, I would want him to say Jesse Russell Kuhns Garcia. Just as I was Clarissa Ivette Garcia Gonzalez. Great post!