Fri 25 Jul 2008
How Old Is “Old” When Adopting a Child?
Posted by Devman under Love and War
We have been asking this question since attending the adoption information meeting put on by the State of Texas’ Child Protective Services (CPS).
We have friends who adopted 5 girls, all sisters, through CPS some years ago, and I believe they ranged in age from 1 or 2 years old to maybe 10 years old; we hope to meet with them sometime soon to learn about their experience adopting their 5 daughters.
Another friend of ours who is well-versed in Montessori wisdom said that she thought that “old” is 4 years old! That took us aback, since we had been thinking that maybe 12 years old is “old”.
I guess our concern, as you can imagine, is that the older the child is, the more harm has been done to them and therefore their wounds are deeper, their personality, including faults and learned bad behavior, is more ingrained and therefore harder to change for the better.
Yet another friend, however, encouraged me that these children need love, and if they are ever to have a good chance at becoming the persons God created them to be, they are much better off being adopted and loved rather than bounced around from one foster family to another until they finally turn 18 and are on their own, without a family to come home to.
Katie and I are very grateful to all our friends and family who have given us advice or shared their experiences with us about adoption; we are actively discerning whether our Lord desires us to adopt or not, and if so, what age of children, and the wisdom of our loved ones is an important factor in this discernment.
Meanwhile, we did a search recently on the CPS site and found this sibling group had been newly added:
“and its someplace simple where we could live
and something only you can give
and that’s faith and trust and peace while we’re alive
and the one poor child who saved this world
and there’s 10 million more who probably could
if we all just stopped and said a prayer for them
so take these words
and sing out loud
cause everyone is forgiven now
cause tonight’s the night the world begins again”
– The Goo Goo Dolls, “Better Days”

July 25th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Hi Devin & Katie
A few thoughts…just thoughts…
…i am moved by your willingness to sincerely consider and be open to adoption; may the Lord bless your discernment…
…perhaps the Lord’s will is a complex but beautiful mystery, and we must exercise all our faculties, in good faith and with great resolve to discern It; perhaps the struggle to discern it is in fact His will; if such be the case, may the you blessed in that struggle…
…perhaps the Lord’s will is simple to attain… i.e. once we develop and willingness to pursue an apparent Good, we can simply pursue that Good with patience and good faith and the Lord will open and close doors as He sees fit until that very Good, or a different greater Good, is attained; if such be the case, I pray the Lord opens and closes doors swiftfully and efficiently in your pursuit…
Enrique
July 26th, 2008 at 10:29 am
Thanks, Enrique. Aren’t these children so cute? I love their blonde curls and big smiles. Good news for the children whose photos we posted a few weeks ago–they’ve already been adopted! Aren’t people good?
July 27th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
what BEAUTIFUL children!!!!!! they look just delightful. best wishes, Katie and Devin!