Okay, so blame it on the rain or on our friends, but we’ve been watching the Bachelorette.
We came in half-way through the season but have watched parts of many of the back episodes as well. The bachelorette’s name is Jillian and seems to be a nice young woman.
Jillian the Bachelorette
The problem I see with the show and the behavior of Jillian and the men who hope to win her heart is this: Her expectation and the guys’ is that physical intimacy (passionate kissing for instance) is expected between them almost immediately, even before they have had time to become friends, let alone have entered a courtship.
If a virtuous man were to be one of the suitors, he would tell her “We are just getting to know each other during these past weeks, and I do not want to express with our bodies something stronger than that which is dictated by the current degree of our friendship. I want to grow in friendship with you and discern whether God is leading us to courtship, and beyond that, to engagement and marriage, but for us to kiss and caress each other now is telling a lie with our bodies.”
Instead, Jillian’s expectation is that, to be able to see if there is any “physical chemistry” between her and a guy, they should kiss and occupy the hot-tub together at the earliest opportunity, and (unsurprisingly) the guys are happy to oblige.
The man who seemed to be the most virtuous on the show, Jake, was called out on a one-on-one date with Jillian because she wanted to see whether he had that “x-factor”, and to provoke some “dangerous” response from him she jumped up on the top of a bar and did a dance for him. How is a virtuous man supposed to respond to such a provocative display? If he goes along with it, he is encouraging immoral behavior in her, and if he tells her that she does not need to do such a thing for him, she feels rejected.
Jake
Yet her desire to see some risk-taking in these guys is good–a man should be a bit dangerous, though in the right way. A gang member is dangerous but in a predatory, violent way. A lustful, unfaithful man is dangerous but in a lascivious way. A virtuous man is dangerous in that he is a man of courage and valor and will fight for his wife’s honor (or for the defense of any noble thing: his country, an innocent person, and so on), and in that he will follow God’s will wherever it leads him, even to the martyr’s cross.
But in this show, which is as contrived a situation as it gets, there is no real way for the men to demonstrate their virtue and their dangerous edge in a virtuous way, so instead they do things like take off their shorts and jump naked into the pool (to get Jillian’s attention), cuss at one another and flex their muscles, and push for premature intimacy with her.
The Bad Boy
Further, as shown above, Jillian does not realize the value of her own self, body and soul, and so she is “falling in love” with 6 different guys and being inappropriately intimate with all of them, all the time being most drawn to the “bad boy” who apparently has a girlfriend already and is only on the show to gain fame for his musical career.
“Any way you look at it you lose” comes to mind when watching this show. None of the men have demonstrated that they prize the virtue of chastity nor that they have faith in Christ; Jillian also has not demonstrated these virtues, so the net result is a group of people looking for love and happiness but lacking the Source of love and happiness.
Ok…is this Devin I am reading? I thought it was Katie! Devin…we need to talk. I have some DVDs, and some other recommendations to spend your time. Oh my! We need to see you more on Friday’s…can we have lunch?
Hi Robert–yes, this is Devin.
As my friend Kody said, this show is like a train wreck: it’s horrible, but you can’t stop watching it.
I think it is worth discussing whether a Christian should even watch this show given the unchaste behavior displayed; Katie and I don’t have cable or satellite TV so we watch it over the internet, which allows us to skip over objectionable parts of the show.
However, this show is enormously popular with tens of millions of Americans and is an indicator of what our society thinks about love and relationships–it is not a pretty picture. One of the men on the show was so bold enough to say that he thought he would be open to having children in 5 years or so, to the amazement of his brother that he would be ready for children “so early” (the man is already like 30 years old).
I applaud your attempt at finding some redeeming quality in this show, but you must know that your efforts are in vain. These types of shows are trash TV. The appeal to the lowest common denominator in the viewer (predominantly women unfortunately). There is no attempt by the show to promote any virtue is any of the performers on the show. There is a formula that is expected and the stick to it. Yes, it is a reflection of our society as the show is supported by millions of viewers. The best way to remove these types of shows is not to watch them in any form.