The New Testament Falls From the Sky to an Isolated Tribe

Picture this: isolated tribe of “native peoples” who live in a never-before-discovered island. Plane flies overhead and a twenty-seven book New Testament is accidentally dropped on the island. Natives read it, put their faith in the Jesus it talks about, and strive to do what it teaches. What might happen?

The undiscovered island

1. Confusion erupts over a contradiction that was quickly found where “Paul of Romans” says that we are justified by faith apart from works but elsewhere says that the doers of the law will be justified. Further confusion arises when James chapter two is read that says we are justified by works and not by faith alone. Two groups split on the island over this issue.

2. The natives read about baptism and take a shot at it, but further division arises as one group says that people should be baptized “in the name of Jesus” ala Acts 2:38 while others claim that the entire Holy Trinity must be individually named ala Matthew 28. Another division splits both existing groups, leading to four groups.

3. More baptism problems arise over 1 Corinthians 15:29: “Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? Why are they then baptized for the dead?” Another split occurs in each of the groups as some claim that this passage means that living Christians should be baptized on behalf of the unbaptized dead so that they receive the gospel too. (Don’t think that this is something made up or crazy, either.) Now there are eight groups.

4. Jesus clearly commanded Christians to celebrate the Last Supper rite “do this in memory of me,” so the natives begin doing that, but a hermeneutical squabble ensues over whether Jesus literally, sacramentally, physically, meta-physically, symbolically, or really-but-not-really meant “this is my body.” Each group splits into five new groups to give forty groups.

5. The New Testament seems unclear on whether Jesus was one in being with the Father and the Spirit or not–splits result in eighty groups. Did Jesus have one divine nature or two natures human and divine or a one composite nature made up of two parts–splits result in 240 groups. Did Jesus have one divine will or two wills: one divine and one human? 480 groups.

6. By this time, one hundred years had passed, and there were 500 total groups (20 more formed as sub-splits for reasons such as whether bongo drums should be used in the service or not). A big crisis occurred over whether all twenty-seven book were really inspired by God or not. A set of charismatic leaders emerged from each of the 500 groups who came out strongly in favor of five books being non-inspired (James, Revelation, Hebrews, Jude, and 2 Peter). They carry their groups into schism but cannot agree with one another since each thinks all the others are “obviously wrong” on one or more of issues 1 – 5. Now there are 1,000 groups: half have 22 books in their Bible and the other have 27. (The first group accuses the second of “adding” books to the Bible while the second group accuses the first of “removing” books–sound familiar?)

At this point in time, a group of Catholic missionaries arrive at the island and are surprised to learn that the natives all claim to be Christians.

The Catholics ask about what the different groups’ beliefs are and quickly identify strains of different Protestant ideas along with Mormon, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Arian, Monophysite, and Monothelite doctrines. It seems that, from the same New Testament books, many of the erroneous teachings that had sprung up in Christendom over 2,000 years had developed on this island as well.

Now certainly this is a imaginary scenario, but when you consider the number of different Christian denominations who all claim to follow the Bible alone, yet contradict each other in teaching after teaching, you realize that this scenario is not that far-fetched.

Acts 8 seems appropriate:

Now there was an Ethiopian eunuch, a court official of the Candace, that is, the queen of the Ethiopians, in charge of her entire treasury, who had come to Jerusalem to worship, and was returning home. Seated in his chariot, he was reading the prophet Isaiah.
The Spirit said to Philip, “Go and join up with that chariot.” Philip ran up and heard him reading Isaiah the prophet and said, “Do you understand what you are reading?”
He replied, “How can I, unless someone instructs me?” So he invited Philip to get in and sit with him.

And how can we correctly instruct others in the Scriptures unless we understand them within the living Tradition of Christ’s Church?

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6 Responses to The New Testament Falls From the Sky to an Isolated Tribe

  1. Leila says:

    This is really good. I am bookmarking it. :)

  2. Devin Rose says:

    Thanks Leila! The little Catholic bubbles grow. :)

  3. Mom says:

    Yes, it is really good! And I’m not saying so just because I’m you mom.

  4. gmart says:

    A Protestant probably feels the notion of purgatory is just as silly as the Mormon practice of baptism for the dead. The link you posted refutes the practice as not being biblical, but wouldn’t a Protestant make the same claim for purgatory? I know this is a leaf issue, but it along with others are what Protestants latch onto to claim Catholicism is wrong.

  5. Devin Rose says:

    Gmart, the Catholic Answers article argues that the reference in the Bible should not be understood as an endorsement of baptism for the dead, in large part because the early Church did not do it, giving us strong evidence that the practice was not a good one. A Protestant actually has a hard time arguing against a Mormon in this regard because of sola Scriptura–the Fathers and early Church writings are all well and good, but baptism for the dead is mentioned in Scripture and the Fathers cannot be looked to as a trustworthy source to refute it.

    Prayers for the dead, a key idea in the doctrine of Purgatory, is found early on, and there are biblical passages that support it that the Church and the Fathers reference.

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