The deal is, this site Patheos has a bunch of religion and non-religion bloggers. And they pay people to write blog posts. So people want to join the site because they will get money, dinero, loot. Makes sense to me. As Morgan Freeman declared, “We just want the Money!”
So you get everyone from the (sort-of) Friendly Atheist (atheists only get so friendly) to a Zen D00d to a bunch of awesome Catholic bloggers. And they’re all raking in the dough hand-over-fist.
Let’s dish it up.
#1 is Mark Shea, a man I admire and whose books I’ve recommended more times than I can count. Seriously, By What Authority is awesome. I love it. I wished I had written it but I could never have written it because I was an atheist when he wrote it. If anyone needs money, it’s Mark. And I say that not knowing him personally but because he has begged for money for basic things like antibiotics for his family and money to repair their broken-down car. So I could never write for Patheos knowing I might be drawing ad monies away from a decent Catholic man in such a situation.
#2 is Marc Barnes, “Bad Catholic” (oooh, he’s so baaad), aka the Wunderkind. No not that Wunderkind, the teen vampire novel-knock-off author…but our very own Catholic Wunderkind. The young dude sweeping the Catholic blogosphere by storm, our very own young Gandalf Greyhame, traversing the digital Middle-Earth hither and yon with the fleet-footedness that only Shadowfax could muster. It’s practically axiomatic that young people always need money, so who can blame him, especially since Spencer-for-hire Brent Stubbs ain’t paying squat for this Undoing Babel book gig that he roped Marc and I into. (Keep it classy, Stubbs.) I will not take money from Marc’s college fund; he deserves better than Ramen noodles.
#3 pop-under ads. Seriously? It’s 2012 and you’re pulling the pop-under ads on me? Patheos loves these. Here’s a keyboard commando tip from yours truly. When you see the flash on the screen telling you they’ve just shot off one of these ads in a new window: hit Alt-tab and then Alt-F4 and boom! the ad is gone.
#4 I’m so flush with cash that I don’t need Patheos’ grimy money. They can keep it! Matter of fact, give more of it to Mark Shea so he can get some antibiotics.
#5 Um, Tori Amos is awesome. And yet, she’s not on Patheos. Why the blacklisting? Haven’t they heard Silent All These Years for crying out loud? Maybe they don’t realize how grittily real and religious her lyrics are:
I’ve got the Anti-Christ in the kitchen yelling at me again…
Dang that’s serious.
I’ve almost had to eat all these words because would you believe that none other than Pat Vandapool the Czar himself joined Patheos? The proof is in the animation, as they say, and if I had Pat’s humor no doubt I’d get invited by Patheos too, but I’m just a dude who blogs about apologetics and agrarian stuff so who cares about that, right?
I mean most people in our country don’t even read one book per year much less one on apologetics. And those who do read apparently buy stuff like the Da Vinci Code, Hunger Games (aka the Running Man rip-off), and some Harry Potter cotton candy, not hard-hitting literature.
So that’s what I got concerning Patheos. I’m sure the people running the site are all good chaps as far as I can throw them but until these five reasons are overcome I won’t be blogging for them.
Update: My wife gently informed me that the frequent mention of money in this post, even in jest, comes off badly. Apologies for that. The post is supposed to humorous and more poke fun at the entire pro/con-Patheos debate rather than weigh in on either side. I don’t blame anyone for blogging for them, nor anyone for not blogging for them, for whatever reason they have.
Personally, I would have no compelling reason to move my blog over there because I’ve spent 7 years blogging here, with people subscribing to this feed, on a site that I wholly own and control. Moving to Patheos means gaining more readers potentially, but also losing many who currently read and also giving up the most important “plank” in my digital platform.
Money-wise, my blog has never made money to even cover the hosting costs. It has, however, given me an outlet for writing–one of my charisms–which is gratifying, and has indirectly led to me writing my book, which has been successful beyond my imagination, and not particularly monetarily but just in terms of how many people have bought it (as you know, it’s priced dirt cheap at $2.99 for e-book and $9.99 for paperback. Amazon won’t let me charge much lower than that otherwise no one would make any money from it).
Most importantly, the blog has helped me connect with lots of great people, both those who agree or disagree with me, who are Catholic or not. It has actually led to real-life friendships as well, something I value above all.
In any case, if this post struck a sour note, I apologize. My wife’s radar is usually tuned in pretty accurately. Thanks for reading and for sticking around and for your participation.
Long live Christ the King!