Um, why no Tori Amos on Patheos? Tear down that wall!
1. Mark Shea
2. Marc Barnes
3. Pop-under ads
4. Sweaty Cash
5. Irrational hatred of Tori Amos
Slam!
Brent Stubbs would sell out for a few guineas faster than the Mayor of Casterbridge, but not me. No, I have integrity. So does Larry.
The deal is, this site Patheos has a bunch of religion and non-religion bloggers. And they pay people to write blog posts. So people want to join the site because they will get money, dinero, loot. Makes sense to me. As Morgan Freeman declared, “We just want the Money!”
So you get everyone from the (sort-of) Friendly Atheist (atheists only get so friendly) to a Zen D00d to a bunch of awesome Catholic bloggers. And they’re all raking in the dough hand-over-fist.
Let’s dish it up.
#1 is Mark Shea, a man I admire and whose books I’ve recommended more times than I can count. Seriously, By What Authority is awesome. I love it. I wished I had written it but I could never have written it because I was an atheist when he wrote it. If anyone needs money, it’s Mark. And I say that not knowing him personally but because he has begged for money for basic things like antibiotics for his family and money to repair their broken-down car. So I could never write for Patheos knowing I might be drawing ad monies away from a decent Catholic man in such a situation.
#2 is Marc Barnes, “Bad Catholic” (oooh, he’s so baaad), aka the Wunderkind. No not that Wunderkind, the teen vampire novel-knock-off author…but our very own Catholic Wunderkind. The young dude sweeping the Catholic blogosphere by storm, our very own young Gandalf Greyhame, traversing the digital Middle-Earth hither and yon with the fleet-footedness that only Shadowfax could muster. It’s practically axiomatic that young people always need money, so who can blame him, especially since Spencer-for-hire Brent Stubbs ain’t paying squat for this Undoing Babel book gig that he roped Marc and I into. (Keep it classy, Stubbs.) I will not take money from Marc’s college fund; he deserves better than Ramen noodles.
#3 pop-under ads. Seriously? It’s 2012 and you’re pulling the pop-under ads on me? Patheos loves these. Here’s a keyboard commando tip from yours truly. When you see the flash on the screen telling you they’ve just shot off one of these ads in a new window: hit Alt-tab and then Alt-F4 and boom! the ad is gone.
#4 I’m so flush with cash that I don’t need Patheos’ grimy money. They can keep it! Matter of fact, give more of it to Mark Shea so he can get some antibiotics.
#5 Um, Tori Amos is awesome. And yet, she’s not on Patheos. Why the blacklisting? Haven’t they heard Silent All These Years for crying out loud? Maybe they don’t realize how grittily real and religious her lyrics are:
I’ve got the Anti-Christ in the kitchen yelling at me again…
Dang that’s serious.
I’ve almost had to eat all these words because would you believe that none other than Pat Vandapool the Czar himself joined Patheos? The proof is in the animation, as they say, and if I had Pat’s humor no doubt I’d get invited by Patheos too, but I’m just a dude who blogs about apologetics and agrarian stuff so who cares about that, right?
I mean most people in our country don’t even read one book per year much less one on apologetics. And those who do read apparently buy stuff like the Da Vinci Code, Hunger Games (aka the Running Man rip-off), and some Harry Potter cotton candy, not hard-hitting literature.
So that’s what I got concerning Patheos. I’m sure the people running the site are all good chaps as far as I can throw them but until these five reasons are overcome I won’t be blogging for them.
Update: My wife gently informed me that the frequent mention of money in this post, even in jest, comes off badly. Apologies for that. The post is supposed to humorous and more poke fun at the entire pro/con-Patheos debate rather than weigh in on either side. I don’t blame anyone for blogging for them, nor anyone for not blogging for them, for whatever reason they have.
Personally, I would have no compelling reason to move my blog over there because I’ve spent 7 years blogging here, with people subscribing to this feed, on a site that I wholly own and control. Moving to Patheos means gaining more readers potentially, but also losing many who currently read and also giving up the most important “plank” in my digital platform.
Money-wise, my blog has never made money to even cover the hosting costs. It has, however, given me an outlet for writing–one of my charisms–which is gratifying, and has indirectly led to me writing my book, which has been successful beyond my imagination, and not particularly monetarily but just in terms of how many people have bought it (as you know, it’s priced dirt cheap at $2.99 for e-book and $9.99 for paperback. Amazon won’t let me charge much lower than that otherwise no one would make any money from it).
Most importantly, the blog has helped me connect with lots of great people, both those who agree or disagree with me, who are Catholic or not. It has actually led to real-life friendships as well, something I value above all.
In any case, if this post struck a sour note, I apologize. My wife’s radar is usually tuned in pretty accurately. Thanks for reading and for sticking around and for your participation.
Long live Christ the King!
One thing troubling about Patheos is its definition of Catholicism:
http://www.patheos.com/Library/Lenses/Side-By-Side.html?path1=x900&path2=&path3=
http://www.patheos.com/Library/Roman-Catholicism/Origins/Founders.html
If someone starts reading the articles (either on Catholic writers or anti-Catholic Protestant writers) and wants to learn more about Catholicism, they’ll likely look at the quick references (since they won’t likely know where else to look).
What will they find? Catholicism started in 300-500AD (by Constantine or a successor). Jesus didn’t found a church. Before Constantine there were a loosely associated group of Churches lead by a local leader (instead of a priest or deacon). And so on.
Essentially, it turns Catholicism into just another bureaucracy that you can take or leave if you want to become Christian. You could equally become Baptist or Presbyterian.
To me, the definition is dishonest. If you’re going to write about someone, you might at least allow them to define themselves and provide follow-up references. Yes, it might lead to some false self-definitions (e.g. “Trail of Blood” Protestants and UFOs started Raëlism), but it is honest and easy to disprove.
Right on, Anil. And it presents religions in a syncretistic way: “take your pick from this fine selection of religions and non-religions, a veritable smorgasbord!”
Way to go, Devin. You have brought my past life crashing back into my mind with one pic of Tori Amos, my former idol. And now I must conquer my day and my sins with ‘Silent all these Year’ playing in my head. Way to make a girl’s struggle all the more challenging! You know, I took Piano 101 in college just to learn the opening notes to that song. Yes, I was THAT pathetic.
Sorry Amy!
The pop-under ads are the one thing that truly irritates me. It is just such a jerk thing to do. But I do like the idea of a sort of “mars hill” where people can come to present their religion. If it is done with any fairness at all, Christianity will win every time.
Thanks for the link, Devin. Why I didn’t have you on my blogroll before, I can’t explain, but it’s all fixed now.
Larry, likewise. My friends the Vandapools always talk about you…but the Catholic blogosphere is a pretty big place and there are lots of good blogs I haven’t yet found. In any case, I saw Pat’s joke blog post on this and also Brent Stubbs was saying how he’d love to blog for them so I had to weigh in!
I never said that I would “love to blog for them”. My “five reasons” were simply justification for receiving fiscal incentive for writing for those (of us) who are not “flush” with cash.
Preach it, Brent, preach it!
Patheos reflects what modern society is like- in today’s world, there are many options in religion as opposed to Catholic/Protestant in days of yore. We may not like it, but there is a general feeling today that Christianity is not the only option- mass migration and mass communication have seen to that. Being in a context wherein worldviews can clash and have an honest discussion is a brilliant idea- otherwise you get a self-enclosed enclave, the participants of which never venturing outside Tribal boundaries. BadCatholic is very good at annoying atheists into discussing important issues, which would be more difficult if only Catholics were aware of his existence.
Let the Darwinian struggle of worldviews continue!
Good points, Harry.
I have written my response here.
Great post.
And not to suck up but I did order your If Protestantism Is True book for a Mother’s Day gift for myself. Because my life is full of kiddos and I want something smarter than My Little Ponies while my husband is gone.
Bonnie, welcome to my blog and I am honored that you got my book. Your dear husband should have anticipated that you would want it!
However if you get tired of My Little Ponies you could also switch to Strawberry Shortcake tales…
Tori Amos…EGAD Man! Very talented, however she never seemed to grow up and move on beyond (in her lyrics anyway) her Daddy issues and in turn did not seem to have a whole lot of love for our Lord.
Other than that, glad to know you still have some integrity left!
Chris
Chris,
Hahaha! I know, but I’m man enough to admit I like a few of her songs. I don’t know what her deal is now, don’t follow her or anything, but am not surprised if she is angry and troubled. God love her.
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Devin:
If you are ever in Seattle, look me up. You can come and swim in our Olympic-sized Scrooge McDuck pool fool of dubloons and treasure all Patheos writers receive in exchange for our souls. I no longer need antibiotics because as a wraith, neither living nor dead, I am beyond the petty needs of you mortals. Ah! Money, sex, and power! How simple it all is now that I have given my will over to our Dark Masters a Patheos! Come! Join us. You will be…. absorbed! Landru! Guide us!
Just a quick follow up to say my comment was meant in the same spirit of jest as yours. I thought this post was very funny and was trying to respond in an equally light spirit. Please don’t think I took offense. I though what you wrote was great.
Thanks Mark, and I accept your gracious invitation. I will bring along my gold bullion!
I just gotta say that I love the “cross-pollination” we see on these various blogs!