St. Joseph’s Vanguard And Our Lady’s Train

You know when you’re driving in the car with the radio on and, all of a sudden, a loud droning sound comes through, followed shortly be a voice saying “This is a test of the emergency broadcast system.  This is only a test.” 

Well, that’s sort of what happened tonight.  We got our first foster phone call; it was a placement of two sisters, a two-year old and seven-month old.  Devin and I were thrilled/overwhelmed/scared and whipped into high gear, making a shopping list and heading to the nearest baby stuff store.  We piled our cart high with a car seat (we already had one but would need a second), booster seat, and clothes, lots of precious baby girl clothes.  Ribbons and bows and cuteness.  And, then, amidst the aisles of baby stuff, Devin’s phone rang again.  It was our case-worker calling with the news that CPS had decided to place the children with their maternal grandmother instead of us and informing us that we wouldn’t need all those dresses I had placed in our cart.

Oh. 

So, we went from normal to excited to disappointed within the space of an hour.  It was only a test, apparently.  But, we’ve had our test run now and are ready for the real thing.  We are disappointed but know that Our Lord is love and wants our best.  So, we’ll wait for the next call.

Beloved, two years today I stood before Christ and the Church and pledged my life to you.  I had slept little the night before.  I was trembling, with my heart in my eyes and my throat dry.  I was filled with holy fear, pledging a vow that I knew I could not fulfill but for God’s grace.  I could barely breathe.

And, then, the vows were said.  Suddenly, joy flooded me, and I could breathe and I could fly and I was your wife.  See here.  Woo hoo!

Here is the video of Katie and me installing our bees.

We used some double-sided wall tape to try to tape the queen cage into the hive, but the cold weather and dampness made the sticky stuff not work well, so we had to jerry-rig it with a rubber band.

There were about 50 bees left in the package that didn’t get dumped into the hive, but these poor bees went into a small cluster in the package box because it was so cold. Katie and I felt bad, so we opened up the top cover over the feeder can, dumped most of the bees inside the hive and closed it up again.

Katie didn’t even wear her bee suit for this last maneuver, which was very brave!

Primitive man sought to master the elemental forces of nature–none were fiercer than the bee. Has modern man progressed any further? You decide:

Yes, we got our bee stuff today! (Everything except the suits and the bees themselves.) What you see before you is a hive stand, bottom board and entrance reducer (barely visible, the little insignia and then the gap in the wood toward the left), 5 medium-depth “supers” containing 8 frames, ready for masses of bees to make delightfully tasty honey in them, a hidden inner cover, and then the telescoping top with metal roof. The yellow thing I am holding is the Italian Hive Tool (ooh la la).
Katie’s favorite device, however, is the smoker:

What a piece of art. Why buy the puny “hobbyist” smoker for $27 when you can buy this, the deluxe, “commercial”, industry-grade, pro-smoker (for only $9 more)? That’s exactly what I thought, too!

Not shown are the cool gloves, fume pad for stealing the bees’ honey, queen excluder (don’t ask), and pail feeder.

Katie and I are both totally pumped–getting this equipment is starting to make it real. Thanks Brushy Mountain Bee Farm.

I wandered around, but finally found, the somebody who…

Jordan and Tammy just sent us the wedding video of me and Katie’s first dance! I tried to get it to embed in this blog post, but WordPress didn’t like that, so I have posted it on my main site: http://www.heroicvirtuecreations.com/devinrose/Catholicism/MarriageDiscernment.html

Many thanks to everyone who came to our wedding and who prayed for us and to Jordan and Tammy for shooting the video and sending it to us! Thanks to Gerardo for transferring the video from the digital mini-cassette to the computer and compressing it.

Also, thank you to Jennifer at Go Dance for teaching us how to Foxtrot and choreographing the entire dance. She was so patient with us and instructed us amazingly well: I had zero dancing experience beyond square dancing in elementary school, but she worked with us for hours until we had it all down.

Also, if you want to download the video to your computer (and burn it onto a DVD or something fancy which I haven’t figured out yet), you can get it from my site here: http://devinrose.heroicvirtuecreations.com/Videos/

 
During these remaining months before we enter the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, Our Lord is very much helping me to transition into this new vocation. I’m very clearly being led from the life of a single, professional young woman into that of a wife and mother (Please God :)!) It has been a most blessed and peaceful time of surrendering, of laying aside the tools of my professional life, including my pink briefcase and planner, to take up new ones. (more…)

When I awoke Friday morning, April 21, I did not imagine that I would be Devin’s betrothed by nightfall. I was blissfully unaware as I sat in Adoration that morning, praying that Devin have a blessed day, that Jesus was smiling to Himself with the knowledge of Devin’s true location. I had no clue, when I left school at 3:50, that Devin was driving around Deming in a baseball cap and sunglasses, to hide from my eyes in this small town.
 
No clue. How delightful! So, how did it come to pass that I was engaged to Devin by Friday evening? Well, read on. :) 
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I’ve been meaning to write about Devin’s fun and graced visit to Deming, and, now that it’s spring break, I have time. Yee haw for spring break!
 
So, I want to write about the cross in our courtship. But, in a good way! See, Devin and I have enjoyed such wonderful visits together, such grace-filled times of laughter and pillow-fights and plenty of eating (as you’ve seen from the photos Devin’s posted). Each time we visit, we marvel at the harmony between us. Is it supposed to be this easy?
 
Yes. Because, Christ so wills it. We know that we’re not responsible for this wonderful-ness–Jesus is.

Devin and I pray together every night, thanks to Devin’s initiative :), and we invite Christ to place His holy cross between us, to sanctify every interaction, word, and thought and to unite us in His most Sacred Heart. I know that I’m so imperfect, the only way for me to grow closer to Devin, and be the girlfriend he deserves, is with the help of Jesus. It’s best if we “meet in the middle”, with the cross between us as the perfect mediator.
 
Apparently, Jesus is the best match-maker in the whole world.
 
(Katie retreats to the couch to better defend against the pillow-onslaught from Devin)

 
(Nathan in the middle of a mighty swing either at Devin or Katie (usually he attacked Devin to protect the damsel in distress))

 
…Father Thai hits one out of the park again and nails me in the back of the head!
 
Father Thai is our new associate priest at St. Elizabeth’s in Pflugerville, Texas. (pronounced Flew-gur-vill). Every homily he has given rocks. He nails the gospel, explains the difficult parts, and challenges us to live like Christ. No bones, no punches pulled, no apologies. Whoop!
 
Then we got to the annual Catholic Services Appeal–the diocesan request for donations for seminarian education, retired priest care, outreach ministries, religious education, and many other worthy causes.
 
In past years, I have given a decent amount to this appeal, and in total each year, I give from 10% to 15% to the Church, usually around 13%. The “extra” 3% on top of the 10% “tithe” amount is more attributable to my laziness in not keeping exact count of how much I have given, rather than special generosity on my part. Also, thanks be to God, I make more money than I need, so I have a cushion in giving extra and not going destitute.
 
Soo, Father Thai opened up his talk on the Services Appeal and said, “In the Old Testament, people gave 10% of their income to God.”
I thought: “Ooh, he’s going for the 10% on people–that’s gonna be a big challenge for them! I already give that much anyway, so I’m smooth sailing.”
 
Father Thai: “But I’m not going to ask you for 10%, after all, this is the Catholic Church.”
I thought: “Man, not even Father Thai would go for the 10% challenge on people. He recognizes that this is the Catholic Church, where the average donation amount is 0.5% from what I have read. Well, that’s reality, and I guess he’s gonna go for some lesser amount.”
 
Father Thai: “Yes, this is the Catholic Church, not the Old Testament anymore, and here we receive the very Body and Blood of Christ. So I’m not going to ask for 10%. Instead, we should be giving 15% to 20% to God!”
(Deafening silence–I hear a loud thump and echo as something powerful slams against my hardened heart.)
 
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This last weekend was a great one in many respects. The best part of it was that my Godson Enrique, or “Enriquito”, stretched out his arms to me for the first time. Enriquito is my first nephew, and I was getting worried because he got scared any time I tried to pick him up. But not last weekend. I didn’t have to do much for him to smile. A couple of times he even offered me his arms when he was with his dad or mom.

The experience of the weekend culminated in a deep reflection that God blessed me with at mass on Sunday.

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I read one of the Magnificat’s meditations of the day for this past week, and it was a truth that I intellectually believe but struggle to truly internalize in my heart. I am excited, however, because I know God is helping me to trust him in my life more and more:

How is it that you cannot understand once for all that everything succeeds if God wishes it, because he can make the opposition and difficulties raised by men against it subserve his own designs? Believe me, if the thing is really for your greater advantage, men may do what they choose, it will succeed; but on the other hand can God do better than prevent its success, if it is disadvantageous to you?

God alone knows the future and all the consequences which will flow from it; as for us we are poor blind creatures who may well be afraid of all sorts of dangers in those very events which appear to us in the most favorable light. Can we then do more wisely than refer everything to God’s care? Can our future be in greater safety than in the almighty hands of that adorable Master, that good and tender Father who loves us much more than we love ourselves?

Where shall we find a safer refuge than in the maternal bosom of his loving Providence? That is where one’s heart should rest as in its beatific center. Outside that center, there is neither peace nor real repose, nothing but excitement, bitterness, anxieties of heart, sorrows in our present life and dangers for our eternal salvation.
– Father Jean-Pierre de Caussade, S.J.
(Father de Caussade (died 1751) was a French Jesuit, a writer, and a revered spiritual director)

I was an atheist for so long and believed that everything was under my control and power: getting an education and a job, finding girls to date, getting scholarships, succeeding in life, etc. And so even though I have now been a Christian for almost 6 years, I still struggle to believe and put into practice the reality that God, and not me, is in perfect control of my temporal and eternal success–every endeavor, every hope, every activity, every thought and prayer.

I know it will take more time for God to deeply convince me of this truth, but I am confident that he will, and I look forward to growing in peace, turning my mind away from worry about making things all work out right and instead resting in my faith that I am in Jesus’ loving, capable hands every moment.

Men of God (read: Christian men), I have an idea for you.

If, Heaven forbid it, you fall to temptation against purity, do not be discouraged. Rather, realize that you are a knight in a war, fighting with sword and shield, and that you have just lost one battle in this war.

Falling to this sin is the equivalent of being unhorsed and then falling ignominiously to the filthy ground, losing your sword and shield in the process.

Turn immediately and ask for forgiveness from God, and as soon as you can go to Confession. Don’t be discouraged by your fall, nor fearful that you will fall again in weakness, but rather, as for God’s help again to get up.

Then the Lord will pick you up from the ground, clean off the filth that covers you, and return your sword and shield to you, giving you the strength again to rejoin the war. It is foolish pride to refuse his help, for he is the only one who can help you, and you cannot fight without your weapons.

Realize as you go to battle again, that spiritually, the greatest battles being fought, the ones for your very soul, are those against Satan and his demons for holy purity. Our culture lies to us and tells us that real men watch football all day, are rude to their wives, ignore their children, and turn their eye lustfully at every immodest woman walking by on the street or selling beer on a TV commercial.

Don’t believe the lies.

Real men fight tenaciously for purity when they feel tempted to lust. Real men respect and honor their wives and have eyes for them alone. Real men love their children and teach them to love God and their brothers and sisters. Real men work hard to provide for their families and devote their lives to them.

Satan doesn’t want you to realize how important the battle for purity is and how, in a very powerful way, struggling to be pure makes you more and more a man after God’s own heart. He wants you to think that other pursuits are more important, and that lustful sins aren’t that bad. But you must learn better. In God’s eyes, the virtue of purity and our battle for it is extremely precious.

How important is it? It’s so important that God DISALLOWED Satan to tempt St. Joseph against purity. He allowed him to tempt the Head of the Holy Family to pride, selfishness, vanity, greed, wrath, impiety, and every other evil, but not impurity. For our Blessed Mother, not even the hint of a shadow of impurity would touch her most chaste husband, and neither would it touch her Son.

Therefore, take up your sword and shield from God, receive his mercy and his strength, and get back into the battle, realizing the importance of it, that the Enemy might not catch you at unawares. And may St. Joseph go before you into the fray, as your vanguard.

If you are a single Catholic man, I recommend praying this prayer everyday to St. Joseph:

“Oh St. Joseph, model of justice and therefore of husbands, I beseech thee to direct me in my choice of a future wife. Grant me especially wisdom and deliberation in this choice. Make both my friendship and courtship especially chaste, unselfish, prudent, thrifty, and cheerful. Be my companion in single as well as in wedded life.”

A few years ago when I dated a very wonderful Catholic girl, she gave me this St. Joseph prayer card called the Boy Sweetheart’s Daily Prayer, and this prayer is on the front, along with the picture of St. Joseph that is on the top right corner of this blog’s website.

I sometimes add in my own phrases and words to the prayer, like saying, “…model of justice, purity, courage, manliness, and therefore of husbands…” and also “..grant me especially wisdom and deliberation in this choice, and ensure I choose the girl that God has created just for me…”.

On the back are given six rules for a successful friendship and courtship, which mirror in several ways the Girl Sweetheart’s Daily Prayer. They are all very insightful, and I have benefitted from meditating on them:

1. Receive our Lord in Holy Communion every Sunday for strength to be and act like a Christlike man.
2. Pray to the Blessed Mother everyday for grace to respect and protect her daughters.
3. Imitate Christ the Gentleman, who was so unselfish at home and abroad.
4. Be rich in masculine interests, and grow in the art of conversation and of being interesting.
5. Learn to make decisions for yourself. Learn to save and to be a pleasant companion.
6. Strive for an esteem of the Sacrament of Marriage and of your God-gven calling as husband and father in building a Catholic marriage and a Catholic home.

You can find these prayer cards in many Catholic book and gift stores. They rock! I have given many to my friends, both male and female, and only once did I freak a girl out with it. But I learned from that not to give them out until you know someone a bit.

One day, I hope to give one to my future wife! Speed the day, my Lord.

I wrote an article on my personal website about overcoming pornography addiction.

If you are a man who has been struggling with this addiction, you may find some ideas to help you. If you are a woman who has a man in her life (boyfriend, fiancee, husband, son) who has an addiction, go read the article and if you feel it would benefit your loved one, send it to him.

I probably don’t have to tell you what an evil pornography is and how it undermines men’s hearts and lives and their most important relationships with their wives. But God is greater than even these tricks of Satan. God can overcome any addiction, including this one.

May St. Joseph and our Blessed Mother pray for us all, for holy purity!

… how failures bring humility–it brings me to my knees, helps me see my need for Thee.”
– Caedmon’s Call, “Lead of Love”

I went to daily Mass this morning at my parish (St. Pio, pray for us!), and I noticed it was bulletin-stuffing day at the parish, as they had the bulletins and the parish newsletter all ready to be combined to give out after the Sunday Masses.

“Ooh, cool–the adoration article I wrote should be inside the newsletter.” So I opened it up, and sure enough, it was there. I didn’t read it, since I already knew what I had written, and I went to Mass. I showed the article to my friend and fellow adoration team member, (Big) Jeff, and he read the article and showed his approval.

So, we heard Mass, and then afterwards I picked up the newsletter and read the article, and I realized with irritation that it had been heavily edited by the newsletter editors. The style of the article was changed, including the opening “hook” that I thought was so clever, and entire paragraphs were added while others of mine were removed.

Clearly, the editors thought that they needed to change my article significantly to improve it. So my first feelings, being such an unselfish, saintly Catholic man, were frustration and annoyance. “Why did they change this so much? The whole thing is different now. It’s not as good.”

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I believe I have captured a new world record today:

The first 27 year old man to hold two copies of Danielle Bean’s book, My Cup of Tea, in his hands!

Each of these copies is bound for a different Catholic woman, and I am sure I will be buying more in the future for other Catholic girls I know.

I am blessed to know many middle-aged Catholic wives and mothers. These women have children between the ages of three and nineteen or so, are devoted wives and mothers, and are faithful Catholics.

The reason I am so blessed to know them is that I see in them the qualities that I want in my future wife. I see how much love, work, and patience it takes for them to live their vocation each day, and I realize that most of these virtues are on the inside, not on the outside. So while I certainly am attracted to girls by their external appearance first and know that is important to how God made us, unless they also possess, or at least show real potential for growing in, these virtues, I am not interested in pursuing anything beyond friendship with them.

These Catholic mothers have lost some of the physical beauty of their youth, but they have grown in beauty within their hearts and souls as they spend each day taking care of their families, loving their husbands and children, and loving God. And this internal beauty is what carries the day and carries their families closer to Christ and Heaven.

One of these mothers I don’t get to see too often, but for a few years I helped lead a boys group her sons went to, and so whenever I see her it is a joyful reunion. I was going into Mass this morning, and when she spotted me, a big smile lit up her face and she immediately walked toward me with her arms wide open, giving me a big hug. She beamed as she told me that three of her children were going to the Catholic school this year. I thought that she just looked so beautiful, and I went to Mass and asked God for a holy and beautiful wife like her.

Thank you, dear Father, for the grace you give to your faithful daughters, and for showing me what to look for in the one you have created just for me.

For all girls and women:

You are beautiful. You are beautiful because our Father created you so, in the image of the Holy Trinity. You are a daughter of the Queen of Heaven, which makes you a princess of Heaven.

If you think you are ugly because people have told you so, don’t believe them. What our Lord thinks of you is what you really are, so believe him. Remember that your most beautiful features are on the inside: your purity, your gentleness, your modesty, your generosity, your faith, hope, and love. Let our Lord build up those treasures in you, and ask our Blessed Mother each day for the grace you need to grow closer to her.

For all men:

All of God’s daughters are beautiful, but you are not attracted to all of them. That’s the way God made it, so when you speak, say that you are not attracted to some girl, rather than that she is ugly.

Pray everyday to your Blessed Mother for grace to respect and protect her daughters. She will obtain this grace from you from Jesus–I guarantee it. This world has polluted our minds with degrading images of women and false ideas of what true masculinity is. Ask St. Joseph to pray for you for purity each day, and ask him to pray for you to grow to become more like him.

The evil things in this world are directly connected to the failure of us men to respect and honor our Blessed Mother’s daughters. We can do something about it, with God’s grace, so make a resolution to begin right now.

“From lost and not found,
to run and not hide,
my hand inside of your hand”
– Jars of Clay, “Hand”

After Mass this morning, I gave my friend Jeff a call, and he invited me to come over and hang out with him and his famiy. I enjoy spending time with them, so I went over, remembering to grab my digital camera on the way in case there were any Kodak moments. God gave me some good instruction through the Kresses, both explicitly when I asked them about some situations I was in, and implicitly by watching them as they cared for their children.

Nikki first showed off his lego-vehicle creations, which were quite cool:

And of course little Nikki (turning the not-so-little 9 years old this week!):

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Yes, I did cut out the middle part of the cake and eat it because it’s the moistest part.
No, I am not ashamed of it.

(I think I’m finally starting to live the high life.)

Today I went to adoration at my usual hour. The man who normally has the hour before me could not make it today, so another faithful adorer was filling in, and she brought her young sons, which was neat. I was amazed that these boys, probably ranging in age from 9 to 14, made it through an entire hour of adoration and looked quite peaceful at the end of it when I arrived!

I thanked her for coming in at a different hour than her regular one, and then when they had left said a little prayer for them. Then I did my usual adoration routine, which consists of:

• Short prayer thanking God for waiting for me and being there for me to come and adore him; then I ask him to teach me during the hour.
• Read the day’s lesson out of My Daily Bread.
• Read the daily Mass reading and about the saint of the day in my Magnificat
• Read from Through the Eyes of Jesus (today was an awesome one where Jesus remembers his family life with Mary and Joseph)
• Read other book I have, currently Good Families Don’t Just Happen
• Work on something for my future wife (it’s a secret to everyone but her, God willing, one day)
• Pray before leaving adoration

Before I left the house that morning, I had taken with me a very special prayer card, called “A Girl Sweetheart’s Daily Prayer”, and put it in my pocket. It has a nice picture of our Blessed Mother on the front with a prayer for helping the girl find her future husband. I took some pictures with my digital camera of the front and back, though it’s a bit hard to see:

Today I went to Mass at St. Albert’s and sat near the front. Just after I had received Jesus in the Eucharist, I went to the pew to kneel and saw my good friend Sharon and her daughter Jane. I was happy because I love them very much and hoped to get to talk with them a little after Mass. They are part of the family whose computer I often work on, and I’ve been friends with them for over four years.

Amazingly, Jane, who is three years old, has always shone great affection for me. Even when she was a little baby and just learning to walk, she would walk over to me and let me hold her. Her mother Sharon remarked on it one time that it was special because Jane didn’t go up to very many people like that. I felt very blessed and honored, as I had had such an aversion to children from my years in atheism and had forgotten how to relate with them.

So after my post-Communion prayer when Mass ended, I got up, genuflected, and turned around, not looking at Sharon and Jane immediately, even though I knew they were there. I walked a few steps toward the back of the church and then looked over to see Sharon praying and motioning Jane toward me, and then I saw little Jane’s bright and smiling face as she came running to me with her arms wide open. I knelt down and spread my arms out and gave her a big hug and picked her up, then walked to the back of the church and talked with her some.

Another family walked out of Mass and beamed at Jane, then looked at me and asked if she was my daughter. I told them no, that she was the daughter of friends of mine at Mass, and this made me think of what it would be like to be a father to such an adorable little girl. How amazing it would be! I also realized that God shows his love for me in how Jane loves me. She is so innocent and good, and she runs to me with her arms open, wanting me to pick her up and give her affection. I know in my heart that this is how the child Jesus comes to me, full of love, and desiring my love.

Also, this is how God wants me to come to him, like a little child, full of trust and love. May God bless all husbands and fathers, wives and mothers, and all his little children, including the big grown up ones.

Jeff and Sharon

Jane

Sometimes in moments of blindness to pride and vanity, I let my mind imagine how great I am and what a good potential husband I am for someone because I have a good job and have a good amount of money saved in investments. I contemplate meeting my girlfriend’s father and at the dinner table, him asking me how I will provide for his daughter. Do I know anything about “stocks”, “bonds”, or “mutual funds”? Then I very self-deprecatingly but smugly relate to him my seemingly vast amount of knowledge of such things–in humility, not going into specific dollar amounts, unless he just HAS to know, and then I guess I am compelled to tell him. I imagine how impressed he will be, and how my girlfriend or fiancee will just be so awed by my financial prowess.

But then I realize that these thoughts are not so good–no doubt it’s the Holy Spirit tapping me on the shoulder. I take a mental step back, and I think about what I really have to offer my future wife. I know immediately in my heart that the best gifts I have to offer my wife are faith, hope, and love for God, as well as purity, courage, joy, peace, goodness, and gentleness. These virtues and fruits of the Holy Spirit (cf. Galatians 5:22 and 1 Corinthians 13) are largely invisible. They are not evident in a nice car, fat wallet, or body-builder muscles. They are on the inside, and yet, they are the real treasure that I have to give to my future wife.

Then I also realize that I am not nearly so far advanced in these virtues as I need to be. I have an idea of what it takes to be a good husband and father, because I have good friends who are already husbands and fathers. Then I examine myself and see how much I struggle with just taking care of my life as a single Catholic man, without a wife or children! So these thoughts sober me and help me to see I need to work each day on growing in these virtues, in cooperating with the Holy Spirit as he works so hard in me.

The Holy Family lived in poverty their entire lives. The Father so willed it, in order that Mary and Joseph could be centered all the more on spiritual riches, the greatest of which was their beloved Son, and so that Jesus would know all the sufferings and pain of the poorest of his brothers. They were a poor family, and yet the most wealthy family that has ever been, for true wealth in a family is love. And St. Joseph, a husband and father par excellence, became the model for all men, both single and married, by the noble and generous way he accepted God’s grace in the practice and perfection of every virtue, notably holy purity.

So may God foster in us men, through St. Joseph’s intercession, a true appreciation of our worth and increase us in these virtues that are the real treasure we have to give to our wives and families.